“Honor your being; Release each and every struggle; Gather strength from life’s storms; Relax into the arms of spirit.” ~ Jonathan Lockwood Hule
I can’t help but think about how much this Election has caused such extreme reactions in everyone. Presidential elections always impact us. This one has resulted in such vast turmoil all around. So much mixed emotion. So much outrage and fear about our future. So many are grieving many losses all at once. It is a scary time for some yet a hopeful and promising time for others.
Regardless of where you stand. I believe this is a time more than ever that we need to be aware of those around us. This is not a time to be at odds with each other. This is not a time to turn away or cut ties with those for not having made the same choice that you did. This is, however, a time, more than ever before that we need to rally together and stand firm. This is a time to surround each other with love and acceptance.
The shock of losing someone is always difficult but when loss is compounded and we feel uncertainty with everyday life, grief becomes magnified.
There is someone near to you that you know, love and care about that is hurting. It may even be someone that is only an acquaintance of yours or a co-worker or someone you nod to every day on the train platform as you go to work. It does not matter who it is.
Someone nearby may be going through sadness, turmoil, loss, pain and struggle more so than we realize. More importantly, they are having a hard time letting anyone get close enough to help. Dealing with grief automatically brings on a world-wind of emotion that causes pain greater than we’ve ever imagined.
It can be hard to navigate through grief to say the least.
The saying below sheds light on everything that encompasses grief and what it feels like from the perspective of the one who is mourning. This saying gives a voice to the words that are not easily spoken.
The Afterloss Credo
I need to talk about my loss
I may often feel the need to tell you what
happened-or to ask you why it happened.
I may frequently need for you to listen
while I explain what, this loss means to me.
Each time I discuss my loss, I am helping myself
face the reality of the death of my loved one.
I need to know that you care about me.
I need to feel your touch, your hugs.
I need you to just be with me
and I need to be with you.
I need for you to believe in me and in my
ability to get through this grief in my
own way- in my own time.
Please don’t judge me now
or think that I’m behaving strangely.
Remember I’m grieving. I may even be in shock.
I may feel afraid. I may even feel deep rage.
I may even feel guilty. But above all, I hurt.
I am experiencing a pain unlike any I’ve ever felt before.
Don’t be concerned if you think I’m getting better and
then suddenly I seem to slip backward again.
Grief makes me behave this way at times.
And please don’t tell me you know just how I feel
or that it’s time for me to get on with my life.
I am probably already saying that to myself
I just need for you to be patient now and
try to understand
Finally, allow me the time I need to grieve and to recover.
I want to get on with my life – but I know that first I must
walk through the dark shadows of my grief.
And although it is almost impossible for me to believe this now,
I know that one day my grief will end.
Most of all, thank you for being my friend.
Thank you for caring, for helping, for understanding.
Thank you for praying for me. And remember, in the days or
years ahead – after your loss – when you need me as I
have needed you, I will understand, and then I will come and be with you.
As we take care of ourselves, may we never forget the kindness we have inside for those that may need us the most.light on everything that encompasses grief and what it feels like from the perspective of the one who is mourning. This saying gives a voice to the words that are not easily spoken.
As the holiday season approaches, I’d like to share this with you today with the hopes that these words offer some measure of comfort to you or anyone you know who may be finding their way through grief.